Its a lovely day

I had a long long sleep and woke up way past my usual timing. I had a very late night yesterday, and it was a busy day.

In the morning, I was on the field with my 10 other teammates against a team weaker than us. However, with several mistakes, I caused the team to suffer from a 2-3 defeat. It felt bad.

I rushed off to the other commitments I had, trying to put the unhappy past behind me. Traveling around the area and arriving back at the same place is like being pushed around like a ball, feeling tricked by a friend of mine.(Definitely not intentional but its kind of stupid) It made things worse. Fortunately, with a stroke of luck, I managed to arrive at the place unscathed, only with a lot more sweat adding on to my stickiness. Seeing the team you have trained doing well is certainly rewarding for any mentor. My team did well. However, I did not any better( since the commitment was shit to begin with), but at least it did not worsen it.

Finally off to dinner! I was hungry, but felt like shit because they were dining in a place which exceeds be expenditure. I am not well-to-do and will never want to spend excess cash just because i have to, only when I really need to. The girl was there. We were pretty close and had the same old conversation we always had. But something just made me feel beneath others.

1) Another guy offered her sweets
2) He offered to sent her home
3) Rich guys have something I do not

As an introvert, we never feel good about ourselves in comparisons. I am jealous of those that had everything i had to live without, outgoing and definitely a much better catch than a quiet guy like me. Its not the fault of others, but its just me. I know it but I don't know how to change! That's what been bothering me ever since I was born.

To be nice, super nice and uber nice, you just have to be sincerely nice. But i really do not know how, and do not have the courage to do so. It sucks, seriously. it just sucks.

After which, we had a hell lot of fun at the playground playing-something we have not done for a very very very long time. It was fun. They talked about their childhood times. And that made me think, how much have i missed out, and how much more do i need to live without, by being born with such a personality. I really hate it!!!

How to be a nice guy?